god, please heal me

Healthy, sick, living, dying
it all feels the same
Safe to say that suffering has consumed me
trapped me in this icy pit
No way out yet, no one can get in
not that I want them here anyway
“incurvatus in se”
self-obsession and self-hate
self-destructing alone is all I can bear

And yet alone is where I found you
a warm current amidst the numbing stillness
Hope, love, forgiveness
you embodied all which I couldn’t give myself
“But I’m tired, weak, damaged beyond repair?
What use could I ever be to you?
My sins have ruined the vessel that you provided my soul with
I don’t deserve another chance.”

be still, the best is yet to come

Read other posts: faith in god, will god forgive my sins